The Definition of Success
Apr 13
This article is featured in the April 2021 edition of Breads and Threads Homemade Magazine.
Unpopular Opinion : 2020 wasn’t all bad. One great thing that came out of 2020 was the number of new entrepreneurs it created. I am all for financial independence and going after your dreams! With the entrepreneur boom also came new pressures to deal with. The pressure to turn your stimulus check into a million dollar enterprise. The pressure to turn your hobby into a booming business in 30 days or less. The pressure to be a social media success. How society has started to define success has come with some pretty steep, specific, and sometimes unrealistic standards. So what are we to do? How do we keep up?
What is the definition of success? I believe you have to define success for yourself. Not by what you see, and not by the world’s standard. Even if you achieve the world’s standard or someone else’s standard of success – it will not be as fulfilling as the success you define for yourself. So how can you begin to define success for yourself? Ask yourself these 5 questions:
Who? – Who are you doing it for? When you sit down to define what you want or set goals, ask yourself you are doing it for. Not who you want to impress. What would you consider a success even if the rest of the world knew nothing about it, or didn’t realize
it was your success? Do your priorities reflect your who? Do your goals compete with your priorities or compliment them? I, like many entrepreneurs, always said that I wanted to be an entrepreneur so that I could have freedom of schedule, as that would allow me to spend more time with my children. However, as I began my entrepreneurial journey I realized that I was getting frustrated with the time I was spending with my children because it was competing with the goals I had for my business. It wasn’t until I took a step back and rearranged my schedule so that it truly reflected my priorities (kids first, work second) that I was able to achieve balance, and have what I defined as success, in both areas.
What? – What do you want? What do you really want? Many people say they want financial freedom. That’s a great goal, but there is more than one way to be financially free. It may include downsizing, or reducing the amount of money you spend a month. It may involve a lot of contentment, and a whole lot less comparison. I would challenge that what most of us truly want is peace. There are plenty of rich and wealthy people who are not happy, depressed even. The Notorious B.I.G. said it best – more money, more problems. I’m pretty sure none of us want more problems. So what do you really want? Be specific. Define it for yourself. It doesn’t have to look like anyone’s list. It is best that it doesn’t, since you are uniquely you. And more importantly, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about your list. Your ambition isn’t measured by others. I would say that it takes just as much effort and ambition to raise healthy, happy children, or have a healthy, happy relationship as it does to run a successful business, and anything in between. What do you want? That is all that matters.
When? – Have patience with yourself! And accept that everything will not happen according to your timing and that is a blessing. When I look back at all of the things that I wanted to happen right away, I am so grateful that they didn’t. I have grown to realize that there were lessons that I needed to learn first so that I would be properly prepared to handle the fullness of the blessings. We don’t plant seeds and expect them to grow to full maturity on the same day. We need to give ourselves that same grace. While it may seem like everyone around you, and on instagram are becoming millionaires and success stories overnight, it’s simply not true. And even if it were, so what. Your journey is your own and unique to you. Comparing your process to someone else’s takes away the joy from your journey, and takes away from all of the “small” successes you should be enjoying and celebrating on your way to the “big one”.
Where? – I love the quote “Bloom where you are planted”. While it is important to think about and be intentional about where you want your life to go, you must also be conscious of and intentional about your current state. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be an influencer, but how are you being intentional about influencing those you come into contact with everyday. It’s okay to want to grow your brand and care about how you are perceived by customers; But what brand of parent are you? Or spouse? Or friend? What would those “customers” say about you? Your “brand” becomes easier to sell when it’s real, and not a story you are trying to put together to impress people. You will enjoy your success a lot more when you know you didn’t have to compromise who you were for it. You are unique, and there are people who need your brand of uniqueness; people that you already know. You can set your eyes on paradise, but make sure that you tend
the garden that you are in. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.
Why? – The most important question of them all. Why do you want to be “successful”? Truly. If you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? What are your intentions? Intention comes before action. Two people can perform the same exact action, but have completely different intentions. The consequences of their actions, though the actions are the same, will be different because their intentions are different. Your why is what drives your success. It is what you must hold onto for the times that you don’t feel successful, to keep pushing you forward. Success does not occur on a straight-line trajectory. There are many ebbs and flows. Without a clear understanding of your why, it becomes hard to bear the storms. Get very clear about your why. There is no success without it.
Starting today, begin to define success for yourself. Stop living up to society’s standards, and start setting some for yourself. Then live up to them. Here’s to a successful April, whatever that may look like for you!
-Tietricha